The FTD
by dark insanity 13
Summary: Lance sees a chance for some fun after Coran finishes cleaning the training deck.


[Slightly silly little thing inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine, because no one can tell me that Lance isn't Peralta. Also Keith is Rosa but that's irrelevant this time around. Also it's 3am and this is probably a lot funnier in my head.]

"This sucks," Pidge muttered. The five paladins of Voltron were gathered around the doorway of the training deck, watching as Coran puttered around the room, pushing what looked to be the Altean equivalent of a floor waxer. "The one day we all _want_ to train is the one day Coran insists on doing...whatever this is."

"He does it about once a month, but we've never needed to use the training deck at the same time he does it," Keith replied, brow furrowed in mild annoyance.

Hunk whined, heavily leaning on the doorframe. "Can't even go do something else because Allura will just chase us down and drag us back by our ears to do training."

Shiro patted Hunk and Pidge's shoulders in sympathy. "The most we can do is wait until he's done. I'm sure it won't be much longer."

"But the floor's gonna be all slippery! We weren't even planning on doing maneuvers involving unsteady footing!" Pidge snapped, gesturing to the shiny floor that Coran had already cleaned. It indeed looked as smooth and slippery as ice.

"I pity all of you."

Everyone looked to Lance, who stood in the centre of them all with a determined and calculating look in his eye as he stared out into the room. They all shared a glance with each other before Hunk spoke up. "Why's that, bro?"

"None of you are seeing the bigger picture here," Lance said, sweeping an arm out dramatically before turning to the rest. "You see a problem, an inconvenience, but me? I see nothing but opportunity."

Shiro seemed confused while Keith and Hunk both wore curious expressions, but Pidge merely levelled a flat stare at the Blue Paladin. "What are you even talking about, Lance?"

Lance grinned roguishly, a glint in his eye that usually spelled either fun or trouble (usually both). "See, what I'm gonna do is take my shoes off but leave my socks on, and slide on that beautiful freshly waxed floor from that end of the deck..." He pointed to the far wall of the room opposite the door, then pointed downwards and brought his arm in as he continued to speak. "...aaaaalllll the way across the room over to here, completely without stopping."

The other four paladins simultaneously sucked in breaths, eyes going wide. "You're gonna do the FTD…" whispered Hunk in wonder.

"That's right, bestest friend in the entire universe, I'm gonna do…" Lance paused, taking a deep breath for added drama. "The Full Training Deck!"

There was a round of gasps. They had all talked about it in passing, but could never pull it off what with Allura being such a stickler for them doing proper training or missions getting in the way. Not to mention sliding across such a big room uninterrupted was a nearly impossible feat to begin with, but this was not a chance to be missed, especially since Allura likely wouldn't come check on them for at least a good while. They could do this and be ready for training in no time.

"Okay, first we need some things. Hunk, find us a camera, because this moment needs to be recorded for posterity. Pidge, go get me some epic music to do this to, because an epic moment needs epic music."

"On it!" the left half of Voltron echoed, the two of them dashing off in opposite directions. Hunk in particular could be heard cheering "This is gonna be _awesome_!" as he disappeared down the hall.

"Keith, Shiro, you guys come help me convince Coran to wax a good path and not tell Allura."

Nodding, the two of them followed after Lance. Two steps in, Keith gave a snort. "Imagine trying to do something like this in the Garrison."

"Oh, it's been attempted," Lance said as they walked. "I tried once in a hallway, but Iverson ended up walking into my path and I crashed right into him since I came in on his bad side. Got put on latrine duty for a week because of that." He pulled a face at the memory, but didn't seem to regret it that much. "Several other people tried, but apparently Iverson's got some sixth sense and from what I've heard only one student's ever managed to get a decent slide without being caught."

"That would be Matt," Shiro responded drolly. "Memorized all the staff's schedules for a week and hacked the cameras to loop while he was doing it. Where do you think Pidge got her cunning from?"

Keith and Lance both paused to stare at Shiro.

"Dude…" Lance murmured.

"That explains so much…" Keith mumbled.

"Something you need, boys?" Coran's voice interrupted the little moment, the machine turning off.

"Actually, yes!" Lance recovered quickly, turning to Coran with a brilliant smile.

Several minutes later, the five paladins were gathered at the far end of the training deck. Lance's shoes were pulled off and tossed to the side. Pidge had stationed herself nearby with her laptop and some portable speakers she and Hunk had put together the month before during their downtime. Hunk was poised and ready with a camera phone (while it was useless as a phone, he'd figured out a way to keep it charged so he could use it for other things). Coran stood by the door leaning against the waxer with a makeshift flag in hand, looking deeply amused by these proceedings. Lance did some quick stretches to pump himself up, Keith and Shiro on either side of him.

"Don't forget your helmet," Shiro said, holding out the item in question. "Can never be too careful."

Lance rolled his eyes, but took it and pulled it on nonetheless. "Okay, _dad_."

Keith, Pidge and Hunk all snickered, but Shiro merely shook his head and smiled, patting Lance's shoulder encouragingly.

"Alright, we all ready?" Lance called as he shook himself out of his last nerves, looking to everyone for confirmation.

"Ready here!" Hunk replied with a thumbs up.

"All set down here!" Coran shouted, giving the flag a wave.

"Waiting for your signal," Pidge answered, finger hovering over the enter key on her laptop.

"Sweet deal; here we go! Hit it, Pidge!"

Grinning, the Green Paladin pressed enter, and with that synth notes began to echo around the room.

"Aww yes, great choice, my fellow memer!" Lance crowed, matching Pidge's grin with his own as he backed up to the wall, rubbing his hands together.

"Thought you would approve."

"Nerds," Hunk snorted, shoulders shaking from barely restrained laughter.

"Is that the song from that marching band episode of that sponge cartoon?" Shiro questioned, covering a laugh himself.

"You know it! Now watch this!"

As the pre-chorus ended, Lance pushed off from the wall and took a running leap, timing the beginning of his slide with the singer belting out the words "sweet, sweet, sweet victory!" Everyone immediately burst into encouraging cheers and whoops, eyes bright and excited as Lance smoothly slid across the floor, momentum barely lost despite the distance he had already travelled. Lance put both his thumbs up, cackling victoriously as the door came closer and closer. He was gonna make it! He was going to be a legend!

Of course, things started crashing down when Lance was about two-thirds of the way across the deck and the door suddenly opened to reveal Allura, eyes turned downwards at a small handheld device the paladins often saw her and Coran using when checking the castle's status.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion at that point. Shiro and Keith both got looks of shock. Hunk paled and screamed. Pidge nearly dropped her laptop in her attempt to stop the music. Coran gasped. Lance's proud smirk morphed into a horrified gape. Allura finally glanced up at the commotion, surprise spreading across her face upon seeing Lance very quickly coming towards her with no sign of stopping.

"What…?" she murmured incredulously, unsure of what to make of the situation.

"MovemoveIcan'tstop!" Lance yelled desperately, arms flailing as he tried to either stop or change course just the slightest.

Snapping out of her baffled stupor, Allura quickly jumped to the side, head turning to watch Lance slide through the open door, past her and into the wall of the hallway. The door then whooshed closed after him, hiding him and Allura from view.

It was dead quiet in the training deck, the remaining members of Team Voltron watching the door with bated breaths. After a few tense seconds, the door reopened and Lance and Allura entered, Lance looking thoroughly dejected and Allura frowning crossly. The others shuffled awkwardly, knowing a lecture was impending about them being paladins of Voltron and needing to uphold dignity and professionalism at all times. The Altean princess stared each one of them down, letting the guilt sink in.

Then, the serious expression not leaving her face, she suddenly grabbed Lance's arm by the wrist and lifted it into the air. "THE FULL TRAINING DECK!" she roared proudly.

It took all of two seconds for everyone to realize the lecture was not happening and they quickly exploded into excited cheering, Lance lifting his other arm triumphantly.

[Yes, that is "Sweet Victory" from Spongebob. No, I have no regrets picking that.]


End file.
